The Daily Antics of the Avengers
by Reveling Labyrinth
Summary: Short drabbles of the whole gang being... themselves. Fail summary is fail. There's clarification inside. Clicky-clicky! Rated M for later chapters.


**Hello all! I know it's been awhile since I wrote anything on here. So I'm starting back up with (sometimes laughably short) drabbles I think up while I was supposed to be paying attention in class or just life in general. ^^;**

**There will be lots of Bruce because I love him to pieces, Tony because… come on, it's Tony. Clint will have lots of appearances in this too, because reasons. :D Don't worry; everyone will have a little something in these drabbles. The whole crew is just fun to play out.**

**This is my first fic including the Avengers. I hope the characters aren't too OOC (don't shoot me if they are, a light smack on the wrist maybe?). Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own the Avengers. o-o**

**Inspiration:**** Boredom! Also, for smacking writer's block in its face. :D**

**Summary:**** Thor asks sexual questions that Tony has no trouble answering or even giving Thor a demonstration with a little help from Bruce.**

**Professor Tony Stark**

It was early afternoon when the two scientists stumbled out of the lab. They've been in there for almost a full two days and finally succumbed to the urge to eat. They both ventured into the common kitchen where Thor and Steve were lounging in the living room, talking. The coffee maker was automatically put on as Tony rummaged through the fridge in search for something edible. Bruce leaned against the island, rubbing at his heavy lidded eyes. Usual conversation was tampered down at this point. Tony would mumble nonsense and Bruce would simply grunt in response or not answer at all.

Once food and coffee were in both of their systems they started acting like themselves; Tony being obnoxious and Bruce being evasive and skittish.

"Are Midgardians strict with their sexual endeavors?" Thor was asking, since Steve escaped the living room with his face beet red. Tony found himself over near Thor, taking a seat on the opposite couch.

"Well, I know I'm not." Tony answered, sipping his coffee without a care.

"Some sexual acts are… frowned upon, Thor." Bruce countered, leaning against the kitchen island, with his arms crossed. He placed his mug of coffee next to him, easy to reach.

Tony looked Bruce's way with one eyebrow raised, "Oh? How long has it been since you had sex Banner?"

"Too long," Bruce mumbled, "I still know about it Tony. I'm not a virgin."

"Oh-ho! So the doctor has experience!" Now both of Tony's eyebrows were raised, his voice lathered in amusement.

Thor inquired, "Have you not copulated since your change, Dr. Banner?"

All eyes were on Bruce and it was making him uncomfortable. Bruce shifted his weight to his other foot before reluctantly answering, "Uh… no. It's kind of difficult. Being on the run and alone all the time."

"But you have stopped running; you are among friends."

"Thor brings up a good point, Banner. There are a lot of people here that you can… get to know better." Tony was smirking now, enjoying the situation before him.

"Yes! If you are in need all you must do is ask doctor!" Thor exclaimed, all seriousness.

Bruce was at a loss for what to say; his mouth fell slightly open in an aborted attempt at a response.

"Is… is this an act that, how did you say it, frowned upon? Midgard doth not copulate with two males?" Thor asked a little deflated.

"Midgard doth!" Tony bellowed, raising his mug in the air as if to toast it, "Behind closed doors anything can happen, Thor. You need to watch some porn."

"Thor, don't go to porn to answer your questions. It's inaccurate." Bruce sighed while adjusting his glasses that were slipping off his face. He wasn't sure why he cared what Thor did or didn't do when it came to… that.

"Are you… offering up your services Bruce? I didn't think you had it in you." Bruce flinched at the suggestion like it was a physical blow. He glanced at Tony in unconcealed surprise. He quickly masked it by choosing that time to sip at his own, cooling coffee.

"You will show me the answers doctor? Most fitting!" Thor got up then and pumped his fist in the air, taking a step towards Bruce.

"…No. Tony will." Bruce pointed in Tony's direction with his helpful mug. He, honestly, didn't know what he'd do with that sort of attention today. Most likely, run. Again. "He would be a sex god if he weren't human," Bruce finished. He would never admit he was having a sliver of fun with his comebacks.

Tony sat up and finished off his coffee, "Oh, you sly fucker."

"We went over this; it's been awhile since I 'fucked', as you eloquently put it. My answers may be inaccurate as well." Bruce kept his cool, treating this potentially chaotic situation as if it was a scientific problem.

"Then we shall learn together, Banner, under the man of iron's tutelage!" Thor boomed.

"Oh, this is rich." Tony snickered, placing his empty mug on the coffee table between him and Thor, wanting to see where Bruce would take this.

"You may miss some key information, Thor. How about you have a private tutoring session with Tony?"

"Hm, a very good point, doctor," Thor liked these preliminary actions; maybe his friends will have a deeper bond from this act.

"I underestimated you, Banner." Tony slowly applauded, mirth washing off of him in waves.

"Your first mistake," Bruce replied.

"My _last_ mistake; you're getting a tutoring session too." Tony chose that time to get up and walk over to Bruce.

Bruce didn't respond. He instead found much importance in finishing off his own coffee.

"In fact, lesson_ numero uno_, Thor: Seduction and Kissing." Tony got to where Bruce was standing, smirking at his friend with confidence.

Bruce started to shimmy away from the island, discarding his mug on the granite as he went.

"Ah-ah, Bruce. I need a volunteer, one that isn't Thor. Look closely, Thor, at our reactions."

Thor looked like a happy puppy. Bruce looked sick.

"Oh, sure, let's sexually frustrate the doctor with a radiating monster within him; perfect plan," muttered Bruce.

"Have faith. The Big Guy may like it too." Tony moved in. Trapping Bruce right back in his spot before, against the island, he placed both arms on each side of him.

"Don't joke." Bruce tensed; he started to look like a scared rabbit.

"Mm," Tony's face came closer to his. Bruce, for the life of him, was wishing he was anywhere else than where he was now, he could feel himself getting flustered, feel the Other Guy stir. Bruce quickly tamped down his turmoil and sighed gently right before Tony's lips touched his.

It was tentative at first, seeking, tasting. Bruce was expecting rough and demanding, the way Tony instigated this situation to begin with. Tony pressed in closer, taking Bruce's stillness as a go ahead. Bruce had yet to freak out on him, so he continued. Tony's lips moved along Bruce's soft ones. Tony's eyes were slightly open, alert to any sign that Bruce liked it or didn't. Bruce was still motionless. Tony could tell he was trying his best not to feel a damn thing. That was fine with Tony, he liked a challenge.

Tony flicked his tongue out, tasting Bruce's bottom lip; Bruce's fingers twitching didn't escape Tony's attention. Grinning into the kiss Tony applied more pressure to Bruce's unmoving lips, bringing his teeth forward, nipping away. Bruce instinctively parted his lips slightly, as if giving Tony permission to enter if he so chooses. Tony took the bait before Bruce could think on what he just did. Tony wrapped an arm around Bruce, bringing his stiff body forward, pressing their bodies together. His mouth nudging Bruce's more open so his tongue could slip through. Tony parted for a second, letting Bruce get air before going back on the offensive. He tackled Bruce's tongue, making sure the muscles tangoed in sync.

Bruce, at that moment, had one hand gripping the island and the other clutching at Tony's arm that was wrapped around him. He didn't know when he moved his arms but they were there. He was feeling more than he wanted to with this one kiss. Any hint that Bruce let drop that he liked that maneuver or this move, Tony pounced on it and worried it until Bruce was on the verge of melting. Bruce was participating now, coming in close without Tony's urging, caressing their hips together, biting on Tony's lips, finding little cues that Tony liked and worrying at it like Tony did. Tony made an appreciative sound when Bruce was responding in kind. As soon as Bruce got on equal footing with Tony, the playboy upped the stakes.

Bruce felt his pulse quicken and his lips swell; he abruptly ended the kiss, hearing the island crack. He quickly let go of Tony's arm before he could break it too and looked at Tony's satisfied expression.

"Most exquisite; it is the same on Asgard."

Bruce was breathless. His cheeks were red and _damn it all_, he forgot Thor was watching them.

Tony was smirking and licked his lips once more.

"Excuse me," Bruce nearly squeaked and pushed his way past Tony and out of the room.

"Well then, Thor." Tony queried, touching his bottom lip with two fingers, before turning to face the God, "Lesson _numero dos_…"


End file.
